Variation on a theme:
JACK thinking to himself: Maybe this was a bad idea... but it was supposed to be just the thing for aches and pains...
JACK thinking to himself: Yeah, I should have stuck with aspirin. That's the last time I complain to anyone....
JACK thinking to himself: God, I hope this guy has good aim. This is the craziest kind of acupuncture I've ever seen. And just who recommended this to me? When I get back, I'm gonna kill 'em!
Say What?
Re: Say What?
your welcome V and you and LTTPlits have inspired one as well thank you!!
Jack: what all I said was the bed was uncomfortable
security : yes we don't take kindly to complaints sir
but we are happy to provide different accommodation's
Jack : great as long as I can lie down
Jack: oh this is better ....can i have my old room please?
Security: no but we hope you enjoy the rest of your stay
Jack: I swear this is the last time I'm staying in this hotel ...and they are not getting a tip
Re: Say What?
Great one ,erg ! Thanks for the new pics !
Jack : *Oops , **oops , ***oops ...
Jack : Where are you taking me ? Down there ? Why ?
Jack : What did I do wrong ?
Jack : I learnt later that it was against the law to fart next to security guards on that planet . So I had 3 days' imprisonment for 3 farts . What a world ...
* fart 1, ** fart 2, *** fart 3
Jack : *Oops , **oops , ***oops ...
Jack : Where are you taking me ? Down there ? Why ?
Jack : What did I do wrong ?
Jack : I learnt later that it was against the law to fart next to security guards on that planet . So I had 3 days' imprisonment for 3 farts . What a world ...
* fart 1, ** fart 2, *** fart 3
Re: Say What?
Great ones ergomac23 and tvero80!!! (I thought I would add some pics but when I tried to open the gallery, only one pic came up. I tried several times. Has that ever happened to you?) So here goes.... though you are both very hard acts to follow!!
JACK: You're kidding, right?!! I only refused to clap at Ba'al's opening act and said that he...
SECURITY: Quiet, Human. You are not fit to draw breath in the same room as our Lord Ba'al.
JACK: You're being a little over the top there, don't ya think?! Can't we just agree to disagree?!
JACK: Look, I just said his act was cliched; his delivery, a tad pretentious... and his costume, well...
SECURITY: Be quiet. Your insolence will not be tolerated.
JACK: So, I'm getting, what? A time-out??! Like I'm six??! Get me outta here!
SECURITY: Not until you learn to behave appropriately and apologize.
JACK: You have got to be kidding. And apologize? Well, that's never going to happen...
SECURITY: Well, you may feel differently as you experience thirst and hunger...
JACK thinking to himself: Thirst and hunger?! Who knew the guy emceeing the floor show could be so touchy? Thinks he's, what? God's gift? Or a God himself??! Man, he takes having a cult following to a whole new level. Well, that's the last time I'll ever come to this hotel.
JACK: You're kidding, right?!! I only refused to clap at Ba'al's opening act and said that he...
SECURITY: Quiet, Human. You are not fit to draw breath in the same room as our Lord Ba'al.
JACK: You're being a little over the top there, don't ya think?! Can't we just agree to disagree?!
JACK: Look, I just said his act was cliched; his delivery, a tad pretentious... and his costume, well...
SECURITY: Be quiet. Your insolence will not be tolerated.
JACK: So, I'm getting, what? A time-out??! Like I'm six??! Get me outta here!
SECURITY: Not until you learn to behave appropriately and apologize.
JACK: You have got to be kidding. And apologize? Well, that's never going to happen...
SECURITY: Well, you may feel differently as you experience thirst and hunger...
JACK thinking to himself: Thirst and hunger?! Who knew the guy emceeing the floor show could be so touchy? Thinks he's, what? God's gift? Or a God himself??! Man, he takes having a cult following to a whole new level. Well, that's the last time I'll ever come to this hotel.
Re: Say What?
thank you LTTPlits and V great say whats ..... yea sometimes the gallery takes a few minutes to load up ....
JACK: great!! just great
JACK: I didn't do anything wrong
security : silence
Jack: I want a lawyer!
suddenly the doors open and Daniel walks in...
Daniel: thank you
Security: you have 5 minutes
Daniel (looking at jack) make it 10 please
SECURITY: fine 10
Daniel: what happened jack? ..I can't help you if I don't know
Jack: all I did was make one complaint about the food ...just one
Daniel: sighs which was?
Jack: that the stew was tasteless ...and the dessert lacked fruit .. and the he was overdressed but I meant it in a nice way
Daniel sighs in annoyance
Jack: can i have someone else...like Carter....or teal'c?
Security : no
Daniel thinking: every planet we go to every time jack has to do or say something to upset someone why do i subject myself to this? …
Re: Say What?
That was a great one, ergomac23! Love the idea of Daniel as a lawyer... with the most difficult of clients....
Re: Say What?
Couldn't figure out anything more to do with that one, so here's another!
JACK: Yeah, let's just forget the group hug. So, smile everyone.... Nice job. If I have to say so myself...
JACK: You want me to do what, General?
HAMMOND: Supreme Commander Thor was so impressed with your recent resolution of that treaty dispute with the Goa'uld, he wanted to thank you personally. Aboard his ship, Colonel.
JACK: Well, that's really nice. Flattering even. But, you know, a fruit basket would be enough.
HAMMOND: This is me when I'm not laughing. In the interest of our ongoing relationship with the Asgard, I am ordering you to go.
JACK: So... Thor, buddy, this is your ship. Love what you've done with it. Really homey.
THOR: O'Neill, I was impressed with your skill in diplomacy. Frankly, I wasn't sure you had it in you. But I wanted to talk with you privately about a proposition I have.
JACK: Well, I was kinda surprised myself that it went as well as it did. So, a proposition, you say?
THOR: Yes, I would like you to consider relocating to Othala. You may not remember but when the ancient's database was downloaded into your brain, you visited us there...
JACK: Yeah, so I'm told but I don't remember a thing.
THOR: Well, O'Neill, we could use having you with us as a liaison with the humans with whom we are coming into ever greater contact.
JACK: Gee, that is certainly flattering but wouldn't that be kinda a long commute to the SGC? You living in another galaxy and all? And how would I continue my work with SG-1?
THOR: Well, you wouldn't. Think of it as a promotion that would let you act on the galactic stage.
JACK: Hum... Do go on.
THOR: Yes, you would have far more authority and power than you do now and see more of the universe than is open to you. And we would become closer friends.
JACK: (With a little alarm) Closer friends... you mean, as in allies?!
THOR: Yes, of course, O'Neill.
JACK: Okay, just checking...
THOR: And the accommodations we would provide would be to your specifications.... Anything you wanted.
JACK: Anything I wanted??!!
THOR: Anything, O'Neill.
JACK thinks of having more power and all the things he would like to have at his fingertips... but then something, someone comes to mind...
JACK: As tempting as your offer is, Thor, and it's really an honor to be asked and all, I can't, I'm sorry. While you might be able to get me anything, you just couldn't get me anybody... You know, my team, Thor... yeah, actually all of them. Even though they sometimes... well, I would still really miss them. But, I mean it, thanks for asking....
JACK: Yeah, let's just forget the group hug. So, smile everyone.... Nice job. If I have to say so myself...
JACK: You want me to do what, General?
HAMMOND: Supreme Commander Thor was so impressed with your recent resolution of that treaty dispute with the Goa'uld, he wanted to thank you personally. Aboard his ship, Colonel.
JACK: Well, that's really nice. Flattering even. But, you know, a fruit basket would be enough.
HAMMOND: This is me when I'm not laughing. In the interest of our ongoing relationship with the Asgard, I am ordering you to go.
JACK: So... Thor, buddy, this is your ship. Love what you've done with it. Really homey.
THOR: O'Neill, I was impressed with your skill in diplomacy. Frankly, I wasn't sure you had it in you. But I wanted to talk with you privately about a proposition I have.
JACK: Well, I was kinda surprised myself that it went as well as it did. So, a proposition, you say?
THOR: Yes, I would like you to consider relocating to Othala. You may not remember but when the ancient's database was downloaded into your brain, you visited us there...
JACK: Yeah, so I'm told but I don't remember a thing.
THOR: Well, O'Neill, we could use having you with us as a liaison with the humans with whom we are coming into ever greater contact.
JACK: Gee, that is certainly flattering but wouldn't that be kinda a long commute to the SGC? You living in another galaxy and all? And how would I continue my work with SG-1?
THOR: Well, you wouldn't. Think of it as a promotion that would let you act on the galactic stage.
JACK: Hum... Do go on.
THOR: Yes, you would have far more authority and power than you do now and see more of the universe than is open to you. And we would become closer friends.
JACK: (With a little alarm) Closer friends... you mean, as in allies?!
THOR: Yes, of course, O'Neill.
JACK: Okay, just checking...
THOR: And the accommodations we would provide would be to your specifications.... Anything you wanted.
JACK: Anything I wanted??!!
THOR: Anything, O'Neill.
JACK thinks of having more power and all the things he would like to have at his fingertips... but then something, someone comes to mind...
JACK: As tempting as your offer is, Thor, and it's really an honor to be asked and all, I can't, I'm sorry. While you might be able to get me anything, you just couldn't get me anybody... You know, my team, Thor... yeah, actually all of them. Even though they sometimes... well, I would still really miss them. But, I mean it, thanks for asking....
Re: Say What?
A tough one , erg ( 6 in a row ) but I like challenges . I think I can handle it ... Well done LTTPlits
Jack : I'm an American citizen !
Jack : You have no right to arrest me !
Jack : Are you leaving me here ? All alone in a cell ? ( thinking ) : I hate being alone in a cell . I'm bored .
Security : You're not alone now .
Daniel : Why am I here ? I did nothing wrong !
Jack : You're making a terrible mistake ... he wouldn't step on an ant .
Daniel : It's no use , Jack .They 've gone .
Jack : Oh ,I was just trying to help ... since you're here , you don't have a deck of cards by any chance , Daniel ? We could play war to kill time .
Jack : I'm an American citizen !
Jack : You have no right to arrest me !
Jack : Are you leaving me here ? All alone in a cell ? ( thinking ) : I hate being alone in a cell . I'm bored .
Security : You're not alone now .
Daniel : Why am I here ? I did nothing wrong !
Jack : You're making a terrible mistake ... he wouldn't step on an ant .
Daniel : It's no use , Jack .They 've gone .
Jack : Oh ,I was just trying to help ... since you're here , you don't have a deck of cards by any chance , Daniel ? We could play war to kill time .
Re: Say What?
Still learning how to do this and see that the less words the better and with more humor... after all, it is the O'Neill with two "l's" not one! So I am going to try a do-over!
JACK: Yeah, forget the group hug. Everyone, smile. Well, that went well, if I must say so myself...
JACK TO HAMMOND: Thor wants to thank me personally on his ship? Really, a fruit basket would be more than enough.
HAMMOND: Good try, Colonel, but this is me not laughing.
JACK: So, Thor... buddy, this is your ship? Love what you've done with it. Very... uh, homey.
THOR: Besides thanking you, I have a proposition. I would like you to serve as our liaison to the humans we are meeting in our travels. But you would have to move to Othala.
JACK: Gee, that would be a kinda a long commute, since you're way off in another galaxy.
THOR: It would be instead of your work on Earth. Think of it as a promotion to a position of galactic importance.
JACK: Uh... Do go on.
THOR: Yes, you would have far more authority and power than you do now and we would become closer friends.
JACK: (With a little concern) Closer friends... uh, you mean, as in allies?!
THOR: Yes, of course, O'Neill.
JACK: Okay, just checking...
THOR: And the accommodations we would provide would be to your specifications.... Anything you wanted.
JACK: Anything I wanted??!!
THOR: Anything, O'Neill.
JACK thinking to himself: Yeah, I wonder whether they get the Simpson's on Othala?
JACK: Yeah, forget the group hug. Everyone, smile. Well, that went well, if I must say so myself...
JACK TO HAMMOND: Thor wants to thank me personally on his ship? Really, a fruit basket would be more than enough.
HAMMOND: Good try, Colonel, but this is me not laughing.
JACK: So, Thor... buddy, this is your ship? Love what you've done with it. Very... uh, homey.
THOR: Besides thanking you, I have a proposition. I would like you to serve as our liaison to the humans we are meeting in our travels. But you would have to move to Othala.
JACK: Gee, that would be a kinda a long commute, since you're way off in another galaxy.
THOR: It would be instead of your work on Earth. Think of it as a promotion to a position of galactic importance.
JACK: Uh... Do go on.
THOR: Yes, you would have far more authority and power than you do now and we would become closer friends.
JACK: (With a little concern) Closer friends... uh, you mean, as in allies?!
THOR: Yes, of course, O'Neill.
JACK: Okay, just checking...
THOR: And the accommodations we would provide would be to your specifications.... Anything you wanted.
JACK: Anything I wanted??!!
THOR: Anything, O'Neill.
JACK thinking to himself: Yeah, I wonder whether they get the Simpson's on Othala?