Point Of View - A MacGyver FanFiction

[tvero80]

Great chapter , Bluegirl I know poor Mac always gets into big trouble in your fanfiction ... so I 'm prepared (sort of) and we all know he'll survive . At this stage of your story I start imagining various endings explaining why Nikki disappeared ...

[uniquelyjas]

Wow! What an intense and emotional chapter!! So...now we know what was in the case. Personally, once everyone was out, I would've let the bomb explode, but that's why I'm not MacGyver!! Speaking of the bomb...gosh, it sounds really complicated, but Mac seems to have a good handle on it. Why oh why did Nikki have to interrupt him?!?!? Will she eventually realize what she did and blame herself for distracting him?? Glad that the bad guys got caught, though! You do a very excellent job with the description of the blast and it's aftermath. You're making Mac's injuries sound pretty serious...even though I know he lives, I'm still worried!! You also did a great job focusing on Nikki and her emotions. How very similar to her husband being killed in a bomb explosion. So much happened that it's hard to find the words to address it all so let me just say very well done!!

[bluegirl]

Hi there! It´s Sunday morning (on my end of the globe) - time for another chapter...

So, after discovering what was in that case and a bit of an emotional cliffhanger... You all ready for

Part 17 of 21


Silence. Velvety darkness. The sensation of floating again.

Slowly, very slowly the thick haze in MacGyver´s mind lifted just a little. Evenly slow the weightlessness made room for the feeling that he was lying on his back. Am I still on my back, Mac asked himself. Or again? … But if I can sense that… I can´t be dead, right? … And if I´m not dead, where am I? … How much time has passed? … Where´s Nikki? … Is she alright? One after another the questions slowly made their way into his foggy mind. The last one dawned on Mac relatively sudden. If I am still alive… what is my current condition?

At once his mind focused on his body and he felt his head pounding. At once he sensed the softness of the mattress he was lying on, something stiff that steadied his back and the warmth of the sheets that covered him. At once he came aware of the tube in his mouth that reached uncomfortably down his throat, and it reminded him of the necessity to breathe.

But before he could deliberately inhale, MacGyver felt a mixture of air and oxygen being pressed into his lungs through the tube. It came as a surprise and he wasn´t prepared for what it caused. With his lungs inflating the agony he had felt right after the explosion returned in a wave almost as bad as then. Mac wanted to moan but couldn´t with the tube in. The pressure was gone after a few seconds, and he gratefully let the air flow out of his body. He strove to relax with the throbbing and the stabbing easing up, yet a moment later the pressure was back; the air was filling his lungs again.

He noticed the brace around his neck as it hindered him when he tried to move his head in an attempt to get rid of the tube. His body continued to be mostly uncooperative, Mac realized while his eyes were still closed. He only managed to straighten out the fingers of one hand that stiffened as the anguish spread through his whole body. This time a low and hoarse moan escaped his throat. The panic about how badly he was injured returned. MacGyver flinched just a little bit when abruptly someone held on to his hand and another hand was laid onto his forehead.

“Calm down, Mr. MacGyver.” a soft female voice advised. “You´re on a respirator… Don´t fight it… it´ll help your body recover.”

The voice was unfamiliar to Mac, but it gave him something to cling on in his pained, confused, and frightened condition. For the first time, he noticed the beeping of a heart rate monitor that matched his now racing heart. Somehow he had to find a way to tell her how immensely all this hurt…

With an enormous effort, MacGyver forced his eyes to open. The image was blurry at first, got sharper only very slowly, but he figured it had to be a nurse smiling down at him. Mac tried to raise one hand to get rid of the tube, yet the woman held him down with ease.

“Don´t move.” she ordered. “You need to stay completely still… but I´m glad you woke up already.”

MacGyver wanted to shake his head but couldn´t. He wasn´t… well, of course, he was, but… while experiencing agony like this… he wasn´t. “Hurts.” he tried to say but all that came out was an unintelligible grunt.

“Don´t try to speak.” the nurse answered. “You can´t with the breathing tube still in.” Nevertheless, the expression on his face and in his eyes must have made her understand the extent of his suffering. “Is the pain that serious?” she asked.

Mac blinked, but then his eyes stayed fixed on her, silently pleading with her to help him.

“All right.” she nodded quickly. Her hand left his forehead and the other one squeezed his hand briefly. “Give me a moment.”

She turned away from him to a table next to the monitors at his bedside. MacGyver struggled to follow her with his eyes, but couldn´t completely. He could make out some IV-lines that were probably connected to the veins in his arm. He felt himself getting weaker with every second. His vision blurred again. The fear and the anguish threatened to take over. Thankfully the nurse turned back to him only a moment later. Mac barely saw her administering the two syringes she had prepared into his IV.

“This should take away the pain within a few moments.” she told him. “The second one will help you go back to sleep.” She laid the syringes aside and held on to his hand again. “Try to relax… you need to rest.” she added as she squeezed it softly. “You´re safe here… we´re all working to get you mended soon.”

MacGyver managed to focus on her face once more as he felt the pain fading away a couple of seconds later. He gave in to the respirator filling his lungs when he sensed the agony diminishing and his strength being almost used up. The hint of a grateful smile flashed across his face, barely visible, but the nurse noticed it and returned the smile. Mac was a bit surprised when he was able to close his fingers around her hand, albeit weakly.

A wave of relief washed through him when he realized that, even if only partly, but he could move again. A small glimmer of hope rose through his fears. But his energy was spent and the medicated fog settled back into his mind. MacGyver let his eyes close and allowed the darkness to envelop him again. The nurse had seemed to be quite happy with his condition so far. He drifted off with the reassuring thought that it was plausible that he would wake up again. And if he woke up once more, it was also plausible that he would soon see Pete… and the woman he loved… Nikki.

*****

When his mind and thoughts slowly made their way to the surface of the comfortable darkness for the second time, it felt different. The first thing MacGyver noticed was the constant, regular beeping of the heart rate monitor. It reminded him of the hospital of some sort he was obviously still in. Then, abruptly, the agony the respirator had caused flashed back into his mind. But it didn´t come this time.

When MacGyver concentrated on his body, he felt his head still pounding but the tube down his throat was gone. I had to have been breathing on my own, he thought and realized that the memory had caused him to subconsciously hold his breath for a moment. That implies I´m getting better… A bit of relief washed through him, as Mac now consciously drew in a breath and noticed smaller tubes reaching only a little into his nose. Still on oxygen support though…

And suddenly, when he tried to breathe a little deeper, the pain was back. It wasn´t as bad as the last time, but he felt some serious throbbing throughout his whole back and some stabbing in his chest. Mac froze for a moment, let the air flow out of his lungs with a faint moan, and drew in the next breath a bit shuddering and much more cautious.

“Mac?” He all of a sudden heard a well-known voice ask and felt someone touch the back of his hand. “MacGyver?”

Nikki. He wanted to turn his head toward her voice, but noticed that the brace was still stabilizing his head and neck. He couldn´t move.

Pain in my back, a brace around my neck… some damage to my spine probably… The frightening thought flashed through his mind, yet at the moment he had something more important to care about. Don´t panic, MacGyver… don´t go jumping to conclusions, he chided himself. Wait until you´ve got all the facts… First, you gotta make sure that Nikki´s okay…

MacGyver pushed the thought aside, blinked his eyes open, quickly found Nikki´s face, and managed to focus on her. She looked tired, worried, but smiled down at him.

“You´re awake…” Nikki said with a breaking voice. “Oh, thank God.”

Then she bit her lower lip to control the tears of relief that were threatening to fall. Mac saw her eyes glistening, saw the bruise on her cheek, saw that the skin around the cut on her forehead had turned dark blue, felt her squeeze his hand a little. He swallowed to clear his sore throat and struggled to plant a feeble smile on his face.

“Sort of…” Mac tried to reply, but it came out very hoarse, barely understandable, and the attempt to speak made him cough instantly. Abruptly it felt like knives were stabbing him, while the coughing fit sent his body shaking. MacGyver pressed his eyes shut with a moan as the headache spiked, and held his breath momentarily, desperately striving to get it back under control. He sensed Nikki still holding on to his hand and her second one softly stroking back his hair.

“Shh… easy, MacGyver… take it slow.” she tried to calm him.

After a few moments of labored and raspy breathing MacGyver was able to open his eyes again. His fears rose once more inside, but just to see Nikki, to feel her presence close by was comforting to him. He closed his fingers around her hand and swallowed once more. His throat still felt raw, and he couldn´t keep the pain he was going through from showing on his face. Nikki was now cupping his cheek with her hand in a feather-light touch, and Mac tried to lean just a bit into that touch. She had come closer, her expression was a lot more worried by now, but MacGyver could look up easier at her.

“That bad?” she asked softly.

“Yeah.” he admitted feebly. “As soon as…”

“Don´t, Mac.” Nikki cut him off quickly. “Don´t talk that much… it´s been only a few hours since the tube has been pulled out. Your throat needs time to recover.”

Mac managed the slightest hint of a nod. Yes, he could definitely feel that.

“I´ll get the doctor for you.” Nikki straightened herself, her hand left his cheek, and she moved a little away from the bed. MacGyver hurried to tighten his hold on her hand, and his breath quickened a little.

“Stay.” he breathed. “Please… don´t go…”

“I won´t leave you.” Nikki cut him off while she pressed a button close to his bed and then turned back to MacGyver. “Calm down, Mac… relax. You´re safe.” She bent down and brushed a soft kiss on his forehead.

Mac had to ease up his hold on her hand as he strove to slow down his breath. He couldn´t suppress a shiver running through him as he felt himself getting weaker with every moment. Nikki is right, he realized. I don´t have a lot of energy left. Even something as simple as breathing is exhausting right now. MacGyver locked his eyes onto Nikki´s face again. She looked worn out as well.

“You okay?” he croaked.

Nikki sighed and smiled at him through her worries. How could he still care more about her wellbeing than his own? “Yes, of course.” she assured after a moment. “As I told you, it´s just a scratch.” She ran her hand over her forehead. “Apart from that, I´m just tired… didn´t get too much sleep since…” she added but broke off in mid-sentence. Her expression darkened.

Mac sensed she didn´t want to be reminded of the explosion. He wished he could forget that evening as well… and his foolish mistake…

“What about Pete?” Mac hoarsely decided to change to another topic on his mind. It bothered him to cause his best friend that much sorrow… again.

“Tired as well… worried of course.” Nikki replied slowly. “We´ve been watching over you together… I´ve sent him away to get some coffee and take a break about half an hour ago. He should be back any minute.”

Just then the door of the room opened. Nikki straightened herself and turned her head to see who was coming in and then nodded to the doctor and the nurse accompanying him. MacGyver got a first good look at the doc when he stepped up to the bed next to Nikki, scanned the readings on the monitors, and then concentrated on Mac.

“I´m glad to see you woke up, Sir.” he addressed MacGyver while he scrutinized him.

“He was in a great deal of pain when he had to cough earlier.” Nikki told the physician.

“We´ll take care of that.” The doctor glanced sideways at her. “Would you please excuse of for a couple of minutes?”

Mac saw that Nikki wasn´t too happy about it, but she obeyed with a quick smile at MacGyver and briefly squeezed his hand before she left the room. Mac felt his tension inside build up again and some adrenaline flow into his veins, effectively suppressing his exhaustion. Now he should get some answers about how badly he was injured. The thought of permanent damage to his spine or spinal cord undeniably frightened him. The doctor´s face was serious when he looked down on him.

“I´m Dr. Marrow. I suppose speaking is still difficult for you, so I´ll just ask a few questions.” When MacGyver´s eyes steadied on him, he continued. “What´s your name?”

“MacGyver.” Mac answered hoarsely.

Then the doc held up one hand with three fingers straightened out. “How many fingers can you see?”

“Three.” Okay, so a test of my basic cognitive abilities first… aw man, do they suspect brain damage as well?

“Do you remember what happened to you?”

MacGyver needed a moment to sort through the jumbled memories in his head.

“Was trying to defuse a bomb.” he then said. The drops of blood falling into the bomb case appeared before his mental eye. His breath and heartbeat quickened. “But I was bleeding… failed… just managed to get Nikki safe… before it blew up.” Mac told Dr. Marrow between labored breaths. The stabbing pain was back with a deep breath he managed to take afterward.

“Easy, Mr. MacGyver.” the doc tried to calm him down and laid a hand on his arm. “To my information, the explosion threw you against a brick wall.”

Mac silently nodded – as far as he could. Probably… my memories aren´t all too clear about that part…

“But it seems, you are some lucky guy.” the doctor added.

MacGyver raised his eyebrows questioning. Lucky?

“As you were unconscious when you were brought here two days ago, we not only x-rayed you but also did CT- and MR-scans.” Dr. Marrow paused a moment to let the information sink in. “You´ve sustained a concussion, a cracked rib, but fortunately we found no damage to your spine.”

Mac subconsciously held his breath for a second. “But I can barely move… why?” he then asked low.

“For several reasons.” the physician hurried to explain. “Initially it was the shock you were going through after being crushed against the wall. Right now, it´s because we´ve given you muscle relaxants to keep you from moving. Even if there´s no damage to the vertebrae, you´ve got severe bruisings along your back. Some of the swellings and hematomas press against your spinal cord and may still damage it. They are likely to also cause some numbness and partial paralysis at the moment. That´s why you´re still wearing the neck brace, that´s why your torso is stabilized by the half cast you are lying in. That´s why we need you to lie as still as possible until the fluid build-up goes down.”

“Do you think, I´ll recover?” Mac needed to be sure.

“I do.” Dr. Marrow confirmed. “How fast and how completely depends on how the swellings and hematomas will respond to our treatment… and on how determined you´ll follow our orders.”

Determination? If it is for preventing permanent damage and paralysis, I can be incredibly determined, Mac thought. Now he let out a relieved breath. This news and prognosis were as good as they could get in his dire situation. “I will.” he hurried to assure the doctor. “Promise.”

“Good.” The doc straightened himself and smiled at MacGyver for the first time. “I was concerned about that last part… Mr. Thornton told us you can be remarkably impatient and restless when it comes to how long you have to stay still in a hospital bed.”

“Yeah.” Mac managed a weak and apologetic grin. “But I do recognize a serious diagnosis when I hear it.” The long sentence made him cough once more, and he bit his lower lip to suppress a moan when the pain spiked again. Dr. Marrow quickly turned to the nurse who had prepared two syringes in the meantime.

“This will ease the pain fast.” he said while he administered the first one into Mac´s IV. “But it is likely to cause some drowsiness and dizziness as well. Tell us if it gets too uncomfortable.”

MacGyver only blinked his eyes to signal his understanding. He was still striving to get his breath under control. The doctor briefly squeezed Mac´s arm when he was done with both syringes.

“The cuts to your hand and the burns the explosion left on your skin are minor.” the doc added. “They´ll be healed real soon. Just don´t pick on the bandages… but you´re not supposed to move anyway.”

Mac managed a bit of a nod. He hadn´t even noticed those yet.

“Very well… I´ll send your friends back in.” Dr. Marrow continued. “Please, remember that you need to rest. If you´re getting tired or exhausted, don´t fight to stay awake. You´ll have plenty of time to talk to them during the next days… understood?”

MacGyver managed to grin feebly through the already lessening pain.

“Yes, Sir.”

The doctor and nurse left the room, but it took several minutes until Nikki returned with Pete in tow. Although truthfully glad to see them both, MacGyver was dazed by the medication by then. His anguish had faded, but his mind and thoughts were foggy once again. Later on, he only remembered Pete´s smile that he tried to hide his worries under; he remembered Nikki´s face that seemed a little more relieved than earlier. Mac suspected that the doctor had briefed them on his condition and prognosis prior to allowing them back in. He also remembered talking to them briefly, before he had drifted off to sleep real soon, but couldn´t recall the topics afterward.

*****

From the next day on Pete and Nikki took turns sitting by MacGyver´s bedside and watching over him. Mac was still asleep most of the time, still too weakened to stay awake for more than a few minutes at one go, his mind still too dazed by the medicines to be able to hold on to a clear thought.

But he felt a lot better when the doctor looked after him during the afternoon of day four, and Mac took the opportunity to ask him to cut down his medication. He needed to have a conversation with his friends he would be able to remember, and desperately wanted to know what had happened while he had tried to defuse the bomb and after the explosion. Mac only vaguely recalled Nikki telling him that Pete had been outside, but he knew nothing about Anton and Pavel Dubcek had fared after they´d left the house or the whereabouts of Zorkin and Baranov.

Dr. Marrow had warned him to be cautious and not to overdo it, yet had complied with Mac´s wish. The different painkillers and reduced muscle relaxants held MacGyver´s hurting down at a bearable level and at the same time allowed some feeling to return to his arms and legs. The physician had also warned him not to move already, but being able to at least flex his fingers and wiggle his toes – albeit weakly – was relieving and encouraging to MacGyver. He was still trying out his possibilities when the door opened only a short while after the doctor had left and Pete came in.

“Hello, MacGyver!” he greeted joyfully. “Good to see you awake.”

Dr. Marrow had also agreed to further elevate the head-end of MacGyver´s bed so that Mac had a much easier time breathing and looking comfortably at his visitors. He only had to raise his eyes from observing his hands to Pete´s face.

“Hiya, Pete.” he replied as a pleased smile widened on his face. Mac´s voice was still a bit hoarse, but his throat had recovered well over the last two days.

“You were sound asleep when I stopped by during the morning… that´s why I left quite soon then.” Pete stated while he grabbed a chair and pulled it close to Mac´s bedside. “You look a lot better now.” He sat down, took a moment to eye MacGyver all over, and noticed his slightly raised hands and moving fingers. “You´re able to move your hands.” Pete continued with pleased surprise. “Since when…”

“I asked the doctor to reduce the meds.” Mac cut him off, now getting more serious. “They made me too drowsy, and my mind too foggy… I can´t remember much of what we talked about during the last days.”

“All right…” Pete´s answer came slowly. “But has Dr. Marrow also allowed you to do that?” he asked with a gesture toward Mac´s raised and turning hands and flexing fingers.

MacGyver froze for a moment, looked back at his hands, and then laid them back on the mattress and relaxed them.

“He told me to be careful.” Mac replied with a rueful glance, not revealing that the doc had ordered him to stay still. “But he has also told me that the returning sensation and motoric abilities to my arms and legs are a good sign.”

“Of course they are!” Pete agreed with a fatherly protective tone. “But I guess, he advised you to be patient and take the time your body needs to heal two days ago.”

“Yeah…” Mac sighed with a little eye-roll. “I haven´t forgotten the paraplegia threat, Pete.”

“Neither have I…” Pete said slowly while his expression darkened. “It scared me to death when I saw you lying in that corridor… unconscious… barely breathing… You were lucky that we had called in the firefighters and an EMT as soon as Nikki had told me about the bomb.”

“Yeah.” MacGyver slowly raised his eyes again to meet Pete´s worried ones. “I´m sorry for causing you that much anguish…”

Pete held Mac´s gaze quietly for a moment before he softly shook his head.

“You don´t need to be sorry for anything… you saved several lives that evening.”

“Speaking of which… I think I remember Nikki saying that you were outside the house… Care to tell me what happened? How did you figure out so quickly…?” MacGyver got curious now, but a sudden urge to cough cut him off and sent his body shaking. Mac pressed his eyes shut and held his breath for a few seconds with the ache the coughing fit had caused to his back. Then he drew in a slow, cautious breath and instantly felt Pete´s hand on the back of his own.

“You okay? Shall I call the doc?”

As the pain eased up after a couple of moments, MacGyver opened his eyes again only to see Pete´s deeply concerned expression.

“Sort of… No, but thanks, Pete.” he croaked low and with a lopsided grin. “Guess, I still shouldn´t talk that much.”

“Probably.” Pete sighed while his face relaxed with relief. He briefly squeezed Mac´s hand before he pulled his own back and leaned back in his chair again. “How did I figure out where Zorkin had taken you?” he continued after a small pause. “After our technicians had identified the Russian origin of the bugs, I raised the security level of all the dissidents we are supporting or watching over. Not just the Russian ones. As Anton and Pavel Dubcek had been our most recent case, I ordered 24-hour surveillance of their house. The agent in charge called in to notify me that you and Nikki had turned up together with two unknown guys, to make sure your visit was announced.” Pete took a deep breath. “I had already alerted every man available the moment you had left the headquarters, so… I only needed to send them off, when the call came in. At that point, I also called in the police and the DXS.”

Mac raised his eyebrows in understanding. “I was somehow counting on that, but I didn´t get a chance to scan the street for our man… or even signal him.”

“He had also given us a description of the sedan Nikki had driven.” Pete added. “As it tried to take off at high speed when we arrived, we stopped it with the help of the police. Zorkin and Baranov are behind bars.”

“That´s good to hear.” MacGyver puffed out a relieved breath. “They told us the GRU is…”

“Nikki has already told me all about it.” Pete cut Mac off to keep him from speaking too much. “Zorkin and Baranov weren´t all too talkative after we apprehended them, as you might imagine… but when Nikki left the house with the Dubcek´s in tow, she quickly warned us about the bomb you were dealing with. The police instantly called in the firefighters and an EMT, just to be on the safe side.”

Mac managed a bit of a nod. “But why did you let Nikki return to the house?”

“Let her?” Pete huffed. “Mac, I was occupied with keeping Anton and Pavel safe. As soon as she had related her information about the situation, she ran back inside. She didn´t ask for my permission.”

“Of course…” Mac sighed slowly. “But Pete, she could have been…”

“Killed?” Pete ended MacGyver´s sentence. “Well, I guess that´s kind of what she thought about you. As did I.”

MacGyver was silent for a few moments as he held Pete´s slightly accusing stare. “Yeah.” he then answered with a low voice. “I know… sorry.”

A tense silence hung between the two friends for another moment before Pete spoke up again.

“Nikki said, you´d been almost done with defusing that thing before it went off. Do you remember what went wrong?”

MacGyver´s eyes left Pete´s while he concentrated on his inside and sorted through his blurry and chaotic memories.

“I do.” he then said slowly as the image of two small red drops falling into the bomb case flashed before his mental eye. “I had cut my hand unintentionally with the shard I had used to free myself from the ropes. I missed some trickle of blood that had made its way onto the handle of my knife. It dropped onto the circuit board and caused a short circuit. That caused the countdown to speed up.” It was my mistake, a voice in the back of his head screamed at him. My lack of concentration, my fault… He sighed. “I only had time to get Nikki out of the room… I think, I tried to close the door, but I´m not…”

His last words trailed off to silence as the memory of the explosion slamming him against the wall surfaced in his mind. Mac´s breath quickened with the abrupt fear returning as well. He suddenly noticed Pete´s hand touching and taking his own again. Pete had leaned forward when MacGyver´s gaze came back and steadied on his friend. Mac noticed his worried and sympathetic expression.

“I´m sorry.” Pete said softly. “I shouldn´t have brought this up already.”

MacGyver took a deep breath and pushed back the memories and emotions in his head, while he forced a little smile on his face.

“It´s okay, Pete.” he replied firmly as he turned his hand around and closed his fingers around Pete´s. “I was starting to ask questions in the first place… and since you told me that the Dubcek´s are safe, that Zorkin and Baranov can´t cause any more trouble, and I know that Nikki made it out with only a scratch… I´m all right.” I´m certainly not gonna cause you even more sorrow by admitting how much guilt I´m truly feeling inside because of my mistake, Mac thought to himself.

Pete held his gaze silently and with a still serious expression, but returned the little squeeze to Mac´s hand. He knew MacGyver long enough to know what was going on in his head.

“Oh, come on, Pete!” Mac continued more cheerful when Pete´s face didn´t lighten up after a few seconds. “My prognosis is good; Dr. Marrow´s quite happy with the progress I´ve already made. He´s almost sure that I´ll recover completely and quickly.”

“I know, I talked to him.” Pete nodded. “He´s scheduled another MR scan for tomorrow.”

“Right.” A beaming smile widened on MacGyver´s face. “If the results are good enough, I might start with physical therapy on the day after.”

Pete Thornton could clearly see how excited Mac was about that possibility. Lying still, not being allowed to move was among the worst punishments someone could inflict on the younger and usually so active man.

“Glad to hear that.” Finally, Pete returned the smile.

“And I might get rid of some of those stiff braces.” Mac continued grinning. “And maybe out of this bed… soon.”

“Of course… just don´t rush it.” Pete sighed as he sat back again. “Give me your word that you´ll stay patient and take all the time you need.” Now his almost fatherly protective expression was back on and he pinned his friend with his stare.

MacGyver´s boyish grin froze with the serious face of his best friend and boss. He also hadn´t forgotten how easily the situation could have turned out far worse. It also still scared him.

“I will, Pete.” he answered low. “Promise.”

[ergomac23]

I had to take a few moments to wipe away my tears after reading this chapter wow this story is getting so intense what a great story Bluegirl

Oops... I should have also added a 'probable need for tissues' warning... my fault.

it's alright bluegirl some stories I read get me more emotional than others ..

and I just read this last chapter I love how mac and Pete banter Pete feeling like he has to be father to mac is so sweet and macs boyish grin we know so well I can't believe there is only 4 chapters to go wow

[uniquelyjas]

Another well-written, descriptive, detailed chapter! Glad he wasn't injured as seriously as he could have been. Also glad the doctor scared him enough into remaining still and allowing his body to start healing! We'll see if Mac can continue to behave himself! And then there's the good ole Mac guilt! He blames himself for the bomb exploding AND for making Pete and Nikki worry about him. He really needs to stop feeling responsible for everyone and everything (in this story in particular as well as in general!!). I also liked how you used this chapter and Mac's states of semi-consciousness as a way to summarize and pull together the events from the last couple chapters from a different point of view. Looks like the next step will be to see how Mac responds to physical therapy. I wish the therapist luck!

[Daicy]

Great read, exciting, arousing emotions.

Nikki survived, wow ...Agents (ex-agents) caught, wow ... MacGyver is recovering as always.

[bluegirl]

Great read, exciting, arousing emotions.

Nikki survived, wow ...Agents (ex-agents) caught, wow ... MacGyver is recovering as always.

Well, MacGyver should better be recovering - or I´ll run into a problem with staying in canon with season 4 - since this is NOT meant to be AU

As for arousing emotions - should I have added another 'tissues needed warning'?

[Wathorighh]

I finally took the time to catch up with your story. I read the parts 10-17 within the last 48 hours and I'm absolutely thrilled.

Your story is told so vivid. I'm totally drawn into the story. I like the part when Mac and Nikki finally admitted their feelings and let them go. At this point I was so glad you've let some of the romatic details to the reader's fantasy. That Pete agrees with their relationship ist something I also did expect from the real series. Just too bad some (female) fans didn't want to see Mac falling in love. I honestly love Nikki, after your story even more.

I was surprised that Zorkin and Baranov made it to the US and that they are working on their own revenge.

Poor Mac - first he got hit twice onto his head and then the failed disarming of the bomb. Your depiction of his panic when he realized what his drops of blood will cause let me hold my breath. When he was thrown against the wall by the blast I felt a sting in my stomach. At that point I knew without reading further that he must have been hurt very badly. Well, of course I did continue reading as I like those kind of stories.

Part 17 in the hospital was very emotional as well. First his aweful awakening with the respiratory tube still in, what a terrrifying imagination. Then his fear about his back and if he can ever move again. The relief when the doctor told him he was kinda lucky. Nikki and Pete with their concern and lack of sleep. I absolutely looking forward to Thursday. Wanna read more about the healing process and how it goes on with Mac and Nikki even though I know from your announcement that the story explains why Nikki disappeared. I have some thought in my mind what might be a good way but I'll tell you at the end if I'm correct or wrong.

You really have talent in writing catching fanfictions.

[bluegirl]

I finally took the time to catch up with your story. I read the parts 10-17 within the last 48 hours and I'm absolutely thrilled.

Your story is told so vivid. I'm totally drawn into the story. I like the part when Mac and Nikki finally admitted their feelings and let them go. At this point I was so glad you've let some of the romatic details to the reader's fantasy. That Pete agrees with their relationship ist something I also did expect from the real series. Just too bad some (female) fans didn't want to see Mac falling in love. I honestly love Nikki, after your story even more.

I was surprised that Zorkin and Baranov made it to the US and that they are working on their own revenge.

Poor Mac - first he got hit twice onto his head and then the failed disarming of the bomb. Your depiction of his panic when he realized what his drops of blood will cause let me hold my breath. When he was thrown against the wall by the blast I felt a sting in my stomach. At that point I knew without reading further that he must have been hurt very badly. Well, of course I did continue reading as I like those kind of stories.

Part 17 in the hospital was very emotional as well. First his aweful awakening with the respiratory tube still in, what a terrrifying imagination. Then his fear about his back and if he can ever move again. The relief when the doctor told him he was kinda lucky. Nikki and Pete with their concern and lack of sleep. I absolutely looking forward to Thursday. Wanna read more about the healing process and how it goes on with Mac and Nikki even though I know from your announcement that the story explains why Nikki disappeared. I have some thought in my mind what might be a good way but I'll tell you at the end if I'm correct or wrong.

You really have talent in writing catching fanfictions.

Well, what can I possibly answer after receiving feedback like this... Thanks sooo much. If it gets your emotions going, then I´ve absolutely reached my aim! Praise like this keeps me going and wanting to write the next story...

[bluegirl]

All right everyone... since I´m still up and awake... and Thursday has just started around here... let´s post this part real early (1.20 a.m.) But after this I´m going to get at least a few hours of sleep until I gotta get up again - for dealing with the rest of Thursday

Here we go: Let´s work our way a little further through Mac´s recovery

Part 18


Two days later in the afternoon, MacGyver was breathing heavily while his physical therapist straightened the blanket, he had just covered Mac with, again. Only a minute ago they had finished the last exercise of Mac´s first therapy session and Mac was exhausted. His therapist Ted had done most of the work and the moving this time, and Mac hadn´t supposed it could be that straining. MacGyver considered himself well-trained, but due to the bruises he´d sustained and due to being forced to stay absolutely still for several days the session had turned into a real challenge for him. Some of his joints were still aching.

“You okay?” the physical therapist asked when he was done with the sheets and blanket and straightened himself. One of his hands was lying on Mac´s arm.

“Yeah, Ted… fine.” MacGyver breathed with a feeble and lopsided smile. “Just a little worn out… you said something about easy mobilization techniques, you know?”

“That was the easy stuff.” The therapist smiled back at him. “You´ve been through a lot, MacGyver. Don´t underestimate it. Don´t expect your body to already be functioning again like you were used to it… but do expect some sore muscles by tomorrow.”

Mac raised his eyebrows surprised. “You told me earlier, we´ll be continuing this tomorrow… despite sore muscles?”

“Of course. With different exercises.” Ted assured him with a grin. “If you wanna get out of this bed soon, we´ve gotta make some progress.”

“Oh.” Mac responded with a slight nod. His neck brace had been replaced with a softer one today that allowed just a little bit of movement to his head and his neck.

“Make sure you get some rest now.” Ted continued, now more serious again. “Don´t be surprised when you feel like sleeping real soon… and please, don´t try moving on your own yet. You still need to be very cautious about your spine.”

“Yes, Sir.” MacGyver replied still a bit breathless and with an earnest expression, but in the next moment the door opened after a short knock on it, and his eyes quickly flicked toward it.

Nikki entered the room, but stopped in the second she spotted the physical therapist standing next to Mac´s bed, without even closing the door.

“I´m sorry, I didn´t…”

“It´s all right.” Ted cut her off as he turned to her. “We´re just done.” He looked back to MacGyver and squeezed his arm briefly. “See you tomorrow morning, MacGyver.”

“Thanks, Ted.” Mac answered, but his eyes were fixed on Nikki.

Nikki approached Mac´s bed slowly and with a worried expression on her face while Mac´s therapist left the room. She noticed his labored breathing and saw some sweat glistening on his face, which seemed pale compared to the day before.

“Mac, are you alright?” she asked cautiously when she reached his side and laid her hand onto the back of his.

“Yeah, fine.” Mac smiled up feebly at her. He closed his eyes for a few moments, tried to calm his breath, strove to push back the exhaustion and the ache the exercises had left him with. He was a bit surprised, but responded quickly when he felt Nikki´s lips brush his own in a feather-light kiss. MacGyver opened his eyes when she pulled back way too soon for his liking, only to see her scrutinizing him closely.

“Fine?” she repeated with a bit of a chiding edge. “You don´t quite look like fine… You were doing a lot better yesterday.”

“Nikki, I´m good.” Mac assured her. “I´m just worn out after my first session of physical therapy.”

“Physical therapy?” Nikki echoed surprised with raised eyebrows and straightened herself. “That soon?”

“Yep. The MR results yesterday satisfied the doc.” MacGyver explained with a glad but tired grin. “Today was mostly about mobilizing all my stiffened joints after lying almost completely motionless for several days. Ted did nearly all the moving for me, but… I never expected keeping some body parts still while letting someone else mobilize other ones to be that straining.”

“So the swellings and hematomas are responding well to the treatment?” Some of the sorrow and worry lines left Nikki´s face.

“You bet.” Mac confirmed with an excited sparkle in his eyes. “Dr. Marrow said, they´d switch the stiff cast for some kind of corset-like brace tomorrow. Should be more comfortable for me. And maybe get me out of bed and at least into a wheelchair the day after. Depends on how my body reacts to the physical therapy.”

“I never thought I´d see you looking forward to sitting in a wheelchair…” Nikki replied slowly and with an again darkening look on her face.

MacGyver´s smile froze with her remark. He drew in a deep breath and was silent for a moment before he turned his hand around and reached out for Nikki´s. She hesitated briefly before she held on to it.

“Me neither, Nikki… but it´s just a step along my recuperation.” Mac said with a low and serious voice while his dark eyes found hers. He weakly squeezed her hand.

Nikki only nodded quietly and avoided his intense gaze after a few seconds. Her expression worried MacGyver. He pushed back the tiredness that had threatened to take over only moments ago. He´d seen a shadow of fear in her eyes before she had looked away. A fear similar to the one he´d seen in Austria, in Starkoss´ house. Mac´s hand left Nikki´s, and he tried to raise it to her face but she caught it halfway up and suddenly stared at him sternly.

“I don´t think you´re supposed to do that already.” Nikki chided.

Mac was taken aback by her harsh change but chose not to react to it. He relaxed his arm and allowed Nikki to place it back on the bed.

“Nikki, what´s wrong?” he asked slowly. “What´s the matter with you?”

“Nothing.” she said quickly and looked away again.

Mac turned his hand so he could stroke along her arm with the back of his fingers. He felt her wince when his long fingers first touched her skin, but she didn´t pull back. He longed so much to be able to hold Nikki in his arms, to comfort her but knew he couldn´t… yet.

“Hey…” he softly tried to get her attention. “Doc Marrow expects me to make a full recovery… I´ll be all right real soon… I should be out of here in two or three weeks... if there are no…”

“I know that.” Nikki cut him off sharply. “He´s giving me and Pete daily updates on your progress.”

“So?” Mac did his best to stay calm and probed further. “What´s bothering…”

“MacGyver, stop it.” she snapped at him. “I´m okay. I´ve got to handle this myself.”

“But you do know you´re not alone with whatever ‘this’ is?” Mac sighed after a brief pause. He knew that even he had almost no way of getting through to Nikki when she raised her defensive walls. Nikki looked back at him after a moment and her eyes locked on to his.

“I know.”

“Good.” A feeble, yet relieved smile flashed across MacGyver´s face. A tense silence still hung between the two for a few seconds, but finally, Nikki took Mac´s hand into hers and squeezed it.

“You look exhausted, Mac.” she stated after another moment and returned his smile. “I´d rather let you rest and get some sleep now… I can run some errands now and be back later in the evening.”

“I´d like that.” Mac nodded with a weak grin. As his worries about Nikki eased up a bit he felt the overwhelming tiredness returning. Nikki bent down for a soft and tender kiss and left him, but he could still sense the echo of that kiss on his lips when she had already left the room, when he allowed his heavy eyelids to close, and while he drifted off into a quiet slumber.

*****

Nikki sighed tiredly when she dropped onto her couch in the very late evening of the same day. She had returned from her second visit to MacGyver at the hospital only a couple of minutes ago, had sat with him while he´d continued to sleep, had talked to him for some time when he´d finally woken up. He had still been worn out by the physical therapy. Seeing him that weakened still caught her off guard. Even if Dr. Marrow was quite convinced about his full recovery by now, seeing Mac, who was usually so active and thriving of energy, that feeble and motionless worried her. Her stomach tightened when she thought about how dependant on help the usually so self-reliant man was at the moment.

Nikki had called Pete right after she´d arrived at home; had told him about his progress, since it was Pete´s turn to see him tomorrow. Pete had seemed glad about the start of Mac´s physical therapy, but Nikki knew that he was just as concerned underneath his carefully kept up positive façade as she was. She had noticed it right after MacGyver had been brought to the hospital and taken directly into emergency care. As soon as she had come out a little of her initial shock. She had witnessed how deeply worried Pete had been about his best friend during the night, while they had sat waiting for a doctor to tell them anything about Mac´s condition, about the results of his examination. Pete had kept his composure a lot better than she had, had tried his best to be there for her and comfort her although he´d been so tightly wound up with his own worries.

Nikki pushed back some strands of her dark hair and then let her hands drop onto her lap. She silently stared at the sandwich she had prepared for herself and the glass of wine next to it for one or two minutes. Then she took a deep breath, picked up the glass and took a long sip. MacGyver wouldn´t approve, she thought wearily. But after the last few days, I´ll grant myself that favor.

A wave of mixed emotions rolled over her as she set down the glass on the coffee table. The worries about Mac´s current situation blended with the relief about his swift recovery that exceeded even Dr. Marrow´s expectations. But the relief did little to ease up her inner tension and the fear she felt since the explosion. Finding first Mac struck down and unconscious and later the bugs in her apartment two days earlier had already rattled her deep inside, more than she would have ever admitted it to MacGyver.

But she had to admit to herself that she hadn´t taken the possible danger the bugs had implied seriously enough. She had realized that fact at the very moment she´d seen Zorkin and Baranov waiting for her in front of her apartment house, when she had wanted to leave to meet Pete and Mac at the Foundation, and noticed them way too late to take any action. She had known in the blink of an eye that they wanted her as leverage against MacGyver and she had in that same second chided herself for not being more careful.

Nikki had been annoyed at those two goons for handling her roughly right from the start although she had followed their instructions to the point. They had tried questioning her, but she hadn´t known the location of the Dubceks´ house and she wouldn´t have revealed it anyway – even if she had known. It had angered Zorkin and Baranov even more.

She had been deeply concerned even before she´d seen how MacGyver had looked at her when they had all arrived at the Dubcek brothers´ house. She had felt sorry for snapping at him earlier that day, just because he had looked into her dossier again. A silly reflex out of her underlying tension. Did she really deserve a man like him? A man you could be angry at, you could scold needlessly, but he´d still be willing to risk his life for yours? She had expected him to be worried, but she hadn´t been prepared for the barely controlled fury at the ex-GRU agents she had seen in his dark brown eyes.

Despite all the squabbling and bantering between her and MacGyver over more than one year, or maybe because of it, she knew it needed some doing to get him to be truly angry, yet as soon as he was, he meant it. Unfortunately, his urge to protect her had caused a rage against Zorkin and Baranov that had gotten the better of him on that evening. MacGyver´s unique abilities had enabled the Dubceks to escape unharmed, but Nikki knew that if only a little more had gone wrong, she and Mac could just as well have gotten killed.

The thought scared her. Not as much for herself, but because she had endangered and nearly lost MacGyver. Nikki suddenly held her breath and clasped her hands together. Panic rose within her. A panic that reminded her of the one she had felt after Adam´s death and back in Austria, on that evening in Starkoss´ house. Her memory of the explosion and the havocked corridor mixed with pictures of the destroyed car her husband Adam had died in. The memory of talking to Mac before the blast came back to her mind.

I have returned to the basement. He has told me to leave. Three times. I must have distracted him. A shiver ran down her spine and her stomach turned. It has been my fault, it echoed in her head. Only MacGyver´s reliable luck has allowed him to survive. Nikki´s hands started to tremble. No, not again, she thought. I am not going to loose him the way I lost Adam. Sorry to say, but it looks as if Mac isn´t able to break the jinx sticking to me.

Nikki sighed deeply, stared down at her hands, and sat silent for a few moments while she felt the fear for Mac´s life mingle with an intense anguish that tore at her heart. She valued and loved MacGyver way too much to risk his death. Somehow she had to find a way to prevent all this from happening once more, a way to save him. After another couple of moments, Nikki abruptly lifted her gaze from her hands.

I´ve got to talk to Pete, she thought. I´ve got to know if that offer is still on the table.

*****

MacGyver let out a deep relieved sigh when he closed the door of his houseboat behind himself and dropped his bag next to the spiral staircase almost three weeks later. Home… at last, he thought as he took a moment to look around his familiar surroundings. Then he strode over to the kitchen, filled up a glass of water and drank almost all of it in large gulps. He turned to the refrigerator afterward and opened it only to see that his favorite basics were already there. Although Pete and Nikki had expected him to return home tomorrow, one or both of them had prepared everything for him. Mac smiled to himself, grateful for having friends like them.

He hadn´t told them yet that he had persuaded Dr. Marrow to discharge him one day earlier. Pete had been in the hospital to visit him in the early afternoon, had told him that Nikki couldn´t see him because she was occupied with a lot of work today, so Mac had taken a taxi home as soon as his doctor had given in and agreed to let him leave. It was only early evening and MacGyver planned to surprise Pete and Nikki with the good news.

But first, I´ve got to get settled, Mac mused as he closed the fridge, walked over to the staircase, gingerly reached down to pick up his duffle bag, and went upstairs. When he bent over, the supporting brace he had been ordered to wear by Dr. Marrow reminded him to still be careful while moving.

It also reminded him not to take the fact that he could move on his own and almost normally again for granted. With only a little more ill twist to the events on that evening, he could have ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of his life or even died. However over the last almost three weeks, since the start of his physical therapy, MacGyver had chosen not to be afraid of that thought, but rather to be grateful for the fact that all had worked out well.

He would have to attend those therapy sessions for several weeks to come, and Ted had warned him to be cautious about starting his own training during that time. MacGyver longed to get back into action, to be able to get his body back into shape; nevertheless, the taxi ride had shown him how quickly he tired, that his muscles were still in recovery and not as strong as he was used to. He dropped his bag on the bed and started to unpack his stuff while the memories of the last weeks crept back into his head.

On his first day of being allowed to get out of bed and sit in a wheelchair, Pete had brought Anton and Pavel Dubcek with him on his visit. The brothers had expressed how grateful they were that Mac had saved their lives once again, whereas Mac still felt a pang of guilt for not being able to save their house. He had apologized to them for failing to defuse the bomb, but Anton had quickly cut him off.

“Don´t feel sorry, MacGyver.” he had told Mac. “It´s just things. Most of them can be replaced and the house rebuilt… It´s more important that we all survived and you will be well soon.”

Mac had just silently smiled back at him. Still… if I had been more careful…

Some DXS officials had been there to get his statement about what had happened on the day after that, and MacGyver had been grateful that Pete and Nikki had been with him while the agents had asked their questions. Mac had felt comfortable with answering most of them, but at one point, they had started pestering him for information about the bomb and the defusing process he´d used. Thinking back he had realized neither could he recall all the details of the device, nor all the steps he had taken in his attempt to render it harmless. Probably due to the serious concussion he´d sustained. Mac had felt really disturbed by his inability to remember, and it had also triggered his memory of the explosion and some of the sudden fear, he had experienced back then, to return.

Although he had tried to conceal it, Pete and Nikki had of course noticed his unease. Pete had intervened quickly, had told the agents there had been enough questions for today, and escorted them out of Mac´s sick-room while telling them they would get a copy of the forensic report covering the bomb remains and the explosion´s consequences from the Phoenix Foundation´s specialists as soon as it was available. MacGyver had appreciated Pete protecting him, and he´d been grateful that Nikki had stayed by his side, just holding his hand and silently waiting for him to get his emotions back under control.

But he had also noticed that Nikki had seemed a little distant to him on that day. Like she had been keeping something to herself. Mac had chalked it up to the hospital setting and all the memories the questions of the DXS-agents had brought back. After all, she had been closely involved in dealing with the aftermath of that dreadful evening, had been helping Pete wherever she could.

MacGyver had tried to talk to her about her feelings a day or two later, like he´d tried after his first physical therapy session, had tried to console her, but once more she had refused to open up to him and blocked him off. She had quickly changed the topic to the latest reports from the environmental study on the beach, which she had brought with her. To fight his boredom, now that he had been allowed to sit up, use his arms and read, she had told Mac. Dr. Johnson had also passed on some of his ideas for the visitor´s concept via Nikki and asked for MacGyver´s feedback on them. Dr. Marrow, on the other hand, hadn´t been all too happy with Mac dealing with work from his bed but had allowed it, if only to a certain extent.

Several of MacGyver´s friends and colleagues from the Foundation had also visited him as soon as Mac had been able to leave his bed more regularly and been permitted to be taken to the small park behind the hospital, even if only in a wheelchair. Ted had tried to get MacGyver toward the feel and coordination he needed for standing and taking a few steps when he´d been in the hospital for about ten days – but Mac had urged himself to stop counting the days by then. Realizing how long he´d already been there had only made him more restless.

And it had also gotten him restless and concerned that his attempts to stand up and walk had been slowed down by some remaining numbness in his lower back and his legs. Ted had quickly consulted Dr. Marrow, who had ordered another MR scan to determine what was causing the problem. The results had shown one of the hematomas hadn´t been receding as predicted but had kept pressing against Mac´s spinal cord and some nerves close to it.

The doc had decided to puncture and aspirate that particular hematoma to keep it from causing permanent damage to Mac´s nerves; a procedure Mac wasn´t all too keen on going through again. Thanks to local anesthesia it hadn´t been very painful for him, but lying absolutely still on his side while knowing that someone was poking a needle into his back, very close to his spine… the sheer length and diameter of that needle sent an icy cold down his back, now that the memory of it popped up in his head.

But he had also felt the relief the procedure had brought to his lower back within hours, and within the next days, the sensation in his back and legs had returned to near-normal. Ted had assured him that the remaining minor problems would recede over the next weeks, maybe a few months at most.

A smile widened on MacGyver´s face as he went back downstairs after he was done with his bag. He remembered the surprised and at the same time gladly relieved look on Pete´s face when Mac had stood up from his bed without needing help for the first time in front of him. Only ten days ago. From that moment on his progress had been steady and quick. As soon as MacGyver had felt secure on his own feet, he had started asking Dr. Marrow about allowing him to leave. Three days ago. And today the doc had agreed, finally. After observing one of his therapy sessions with Ted. After having Mac promise, he´d show up for a check-up on the day after tomorrow, and keep to the therapy schedule the doc and his therapist had set up.

MacGyver dropped onto his cozy couch with a sigh as he realized how easily he got exhausted by the little things he had done so far. Nevertheless, at the same time he was grateful, he could do them… again… on his own. Without being dependent on anyone.

He was sorry that Nikki hadn´t been there to witness his progress over the last ten days. It would have helped ease up her worries, Mac thought. But she had been ordered to fly to Washington, D.C. to take care of some Phoenix Foundation business there. Mac hadn´t been all too happy when she had told him about it almost two weeks ago, but had of course understood that although he was holed up in the hospital, the world outside hadn´t stopped turning.

Today Pete had let him know that she had returned yesterday, but had been caught up with a lot of work since then. Mac shot the clock on his TV a glance. About 6 p.m. … Pete said, he´d be in the office real late this evening, but Nikki should be home by now. I could prepare myself a quick sandwich and then drive over to her place… and surprise her.

A boyish grin widened on his face despite the twinge MacGyver felt in his back when he got up and walked over to his fridge. He was so looking forward to seeing Nikki again. He had missed her deeply during the last ten days. Now he would be able to walk up to her on his own feet, to wrap her into his arms, to kiss her, to feel her again. He immeasurably longed to do all that.

And he longed to say those three special words to her again. Without the pain, the horror, and the desperation he had felt right after the explosion, but coming from his heart and soul, this time freely admitting just how much she meant to him. Mac knew, he had held back some of his feelings during the summer, and he had probably over-challenged Nikki with his confession in this terrible situation. Maybe that was why she had kept him at a distance in the hospital. Committing himself to her fully, giving her everything that he was and could be should calm down her worries, should help Nikki to open up to him again.

It was a huge leap of faith for MacGyver as well, but after all they had gone through together during the last one and a half years, and especially after all he´d been through during the last four weeks, right now he felt ready for it.