I was just looking at RDA's website and i was looking at the old forum posts, cringing while i was reading them and the old messages from Kate Ritter and i think that Kate did give me confirmation about RDA. I guess i was just scared .. or stubborn. Kate is right, there is a lot of rubbish on the internet and truth is, i made the mistake of seeing the rubbish first, getting sucked into it instead of going to the site first and realizing that there was a lot more to RDA than meets the eye... I mean you said yourself everyone and Kate knows RDA best and she is his best friend and his articles from the last 40 years all prove he was just a swinging bachelor who tried to find the one and well, he kinda did in Wiley's Mum, Apryl. But never really found the 'one'.
I can put it down to several things, i am battling depression and anyone who has this illness knows full well the struggles with anxiety and stress can contribute to having doubts.. some days it gets soo bad, you see people like their nothing more than glass or paper and all you want to do is crawl away under a rock and hide. I just forgot who i was and what i am about.. i got lost.. but one day recently i saw the weight scales and thought, 'i can't do this anymore'. So I am on a good all protein no carb diet gone from 174kgs down to 169kgs with 69 to go and i am seeing an awesome therapist who told me with total realism that 'i need to take one step at a time. That things won't get better over night'
is that the internet is full of liars, people with low IQ's and general garden variety idiots and i just couldn't handle 'the rumors' as Kate so eloquently put it. I like to think that i have good instincts about people and i do follow me gut and usually the gut is right.. but then the doubts get all confused and all i can say its attributed to something else going on with me and nothing to do with RDA at all.
I don't mean to be a pain and yes i deserve a swift kick on the shorts, needed to get this off me chest. I love RDA to pieces and i think he is totally awesome.
Mostly i would like to apologise for everything that I have said especially to you Kate, Annelise and Anne and the rest of you.
God bless all of you and Merry Christmas to all
Philippa M Buxton xx
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