It's because i miss my mum

Philippa M
Posts: 307
Joined: Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:14 am
Location: East Cannington, Perth - Western Australia

Re: Feeling like I am not wanted on RDA

Post by Philippa M »

I'll PM you what i asked about Richard. And It was very dumb
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Richard Dean Anderson is Macgyver! .... *my hearts duet*
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Annelies
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Location: the Netherlands

Re: Feeling like I am not wanted on RDA

Post by Annelies »

Hi Phillipa,

I'm sorry for the loss of your Mother and I understand you are going through a rough time..

I can't be as often at the site as I usually did so I.missed a lot here but I hope you feel.more accepted here!! I'm glad your here any way just like Jack and B ;)
And please....you are NOT Dumb ;)

Wishing you all the strength and warmth during this period
Lots of love,

Lies

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Philippa M
Posts: 307
Joined: Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:14 am
Location: East Cannington, Perth - Western Australia

Re: Feeling like I am not wanted on RDA

Post by Philippa M »

Thank you Annelies,

I still cannot believe Mumma is gone, and I have another dying parent at home.

I am going back to see a psychologist soon. So I can work thru this pain. And some how get my life back on track again...

PS. I used know an Annalisa at school years back.. lovely name you have there.
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Richard Dean Anderson is Macgyver! .... *my hearts duet*
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Annelies
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Location: the Netherlands

Re: Feeling like I am not wanted on RDA

Post by Annelies »

oh man, what a struggle are you in! Wishing you a lot of strength. And so good that you are having a psychologist to help you during this time!

P.S. Thank you for your compliment
Lots of love,

Lies

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REAL-DRAMA-ANGEL
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Location: NORTH AUCKLAND ,NEW ZEALAND

Re: Feeling like I am not wanted on RDA

Post by REAL-DRAMA-ANGEL »

Hi Phillipa,
my mum pass away 8 years ago from breast cancer .I still miss here ,i tell myself she gone on a big O&E . I know it hard at the moment dealing with your lost ,it sound like your mother had a wonderful daughter who love her greatly . Its alright to have emotions ,i found it helpfully to have a diary address to mum before i would go to bed i would right to her about how i miss here and how i was feeling that day it was my Emotion dairy that only mum could read while i was a sleep .
sue
Philippa M
Posts: 307
Joined: Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:14 am
Location: East Cannington, Perth - Western Australia

Re: Feeling like I am not wanted on RDA

Post by Philippa M »

My Mumma had breast cancer as well, two lumps in the right breast and all the lymph nodes had to be removed. She fought and won against it that time and Dad and I both had 14 more years with her. This cancer.. Multiple Myeloma, just came out of no where and she was diagnosed with that 2 days before Christmas day, just this last December...yeah, what a great bloody Christmas present she got. The original Doctor who diagnosd said that this cancer may had been around for awhile. But as we al experienced, what we thought was a treatable cancer, turned out far more deadly ... what we hoped for was ten more years, was to be just 7 more months. Mumma how ever was always a bright, happy and positive lady and she in a was a stoic character like Richard, never complained about aches and pains... never asking for help. Because she, like me felt we weren't worth it. In her last days, when what ever this thing was that was taking her, she'd recognised my voice and smiled when i spoke to her.. Then she was dying and I spoke she'd smile, knowing it was me. The worst part was seeing her body ... she looked like she was sleeping and some reason I tried to wake her up.

Keep having nightmares, I keep thinking she's lost and that I need to find her... that she's trapped somewhere and someone needs to bring her home. I've been told that is a natural part of the grieveing process. I do wish she would come home and tell I am being stupid or to get off my ass... I really miss that.

Truth be told I am (as a few of you know that I've PM'ed) that I'm an essesant worry wart and worry about the silliest of things. I worry about things I already know the answers too... second guessing myself and others. But I am so very happy that I can trust in Kate and trust in all of you and most importantly trust in Richard and his honesty... i think trusting people, learning to listen has become my achille's heel.
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Anja
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Re: It's because i miss my mum

Post by Anja »

Philippa, it's very, very courageous of you to write in such an open, honest way about your private life. I think we all as members of this forum should feel honoured that you share your feelings and emotions with all of us. We don't know each other and perhaps we live in different corners on our planet but life repeats itself wherever we are. I also lost my mum 13 years ago (cancer) - I still have my father (86).
Words can't change anything but they can help, if you have a good therapist go and see him.

This may be childish but have you seen the episode Passages? I'm not a religious person but some way or other I think something like an "afterlife" does exist. Maybe we see our beloved ones again - not only family and friends but also dogs, horses, cats, birds....

Hope to read more from you here on the forum - be strong and look forward to your future.

All the best.
ANJA
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Philippa M
Posts: 307
Joined: Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:14 am
Location: East Cannington, Perth - Western Australia

Re: It's because i miss my mum

Post by Philippa M »

Seeing your post bought a tear to my eyes, losing a loved one hits you like a tonne bricks and think i was quite unprepared for it. Last two months has been a complete blur. Somedays you feel numb, you laugh, cry and feel lost...

Thanks Anja your words like all the gals here means a lot.
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Richard Dean Anderson is Macgyver! .... *my hearts duet*
PamK1950
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Location: Wherever my mind takes me

Re: It's because i miss my mum

Post by PamK1950 »

Philippa,

Someone recently posted this on Facebook. It's a wonderful piece and I wish I had seen something like when my folks, sister and husband passed. I hope you can find some comfort in it.

http://www.thatericalper.com/2015/08/16 ... ncredible/

Pam
If you can't say anything nice.....

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Annelies
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Re: It's because i miss my mum

Post by Annelies »

Pam.............it's beautiful and so true!! Thank you for sharing it!!

Philippa, thanks for your story, and also feel honoured that you want to share it with us..
I also lost several people to cancer, a few familymembers, friends and a teacher who felt more like a second mother to me...
I really believe Pam has posted something wonderful here, really hope it helps you!

I agree with Anja, I believe there is more between heaven and earth..
Feel like my teacher is still watching over me somehow, I once had a strange experience..
She was a french teacher, always so good in telling, she had an imaginary cauldron in her classroom and put all the french grammar in it, stirred it and for me, it did the trick, I understood....... And before class started she came with the trash can, "who has some bubble gum for an old wanderer :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Sorry memory's suddenly pop up, back to the experience..I tried french classes after her death, but it didn't feel the same anymore, I couldn't, just couldn't......
I needed the french word for "the thinker", couldn't come up with it, smiled and said: Hey teacher, what's the french word for "the thinker", I lost it.. My mom was sitting next to me on the couch and we laughed, I wanted to take a sip of my coffee, had a small sip cause, boom, "Le penseur" suddenly popped up in my head..
It was actually quite still making, coincidence maybe..... but actually I really believe there is more..
I hope you can laugh because of memories in a whille, at the moment I'm burning a candle for you and wishing you all the strength.....
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Lots of love,

Lies

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