The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, October 10th, 1994
(R = RDA, J = Jay Leno, and P = Pamela Anderson)
J - Welcome back, folks! Got a good one for you tonight. Richard Dean Anderson, and from Baywatch, a woman who also
happens to be, I am told she's in this magazine called Playboy. A number of men often look at this, I understand. It has
some rather revealing photos. Pamela Anderson is here. And, of course, the music of Jimmy Buffet, so it's a good
program. Alrighty! My first guest, a good friend of the program, he is starring in Beyond Betrayal tomorrow night on the
CBS television network. Please welcome Richard Dean Anderson! (Rick comes out, shakes hands with Jay, and sets down)
We mentioned the network.
R - You usually say "On another network."
J - Yeah, but since they're in third place, phfftt, who cares now?
R - Not a problem anymore. Nice...
J - We're trying to help you out.
R - Nice digs you got going.
J - Yeah, a new, kind of a "new do", I think they say? New hair cut?
R - Well, it's kind of a, it's like, left over from the last job I did. I just got off a plane last night from Atlanta and I was playing a teacher. (Audience whoops) It's hot and muggy down there, darlin'.
J - Yeah.
R - That's why the hair looks the way it is.
J - Oh, so that's why you got it cut...
R - It's kind of left over, yeah.
J - Now see, so even if your hair looks bad you can always say "It's for a part. I played a murderer."
R - And don't you find it's really a drag to keep having to put that grey in there?
J - Yeah, you know, I had that little touch. This is that stuff called "Touch of Elderly", you just put it in.
R - It drives me nuts.
J - It drives women wild.
R - That's what I keep getting told.
J - Yeah I just put that in to confuse my bald friends, you know, at least it's grey. So where were you? Were you back home in
Minnesota? Isn't that where it is?
R - Yeah, well, I had a great summer. I was, I did a movie back in the beginning of the summer up in Vancouver, and then I went... (Audience whoops) Geography getting an applause. And then I..., I usually go up to, for the Fourth of July, I fly my brothers up to a cabin, up in northern Minnesota that my father and I purchased (Audience whoops) Sheesh!! Will you stop it?!
J - So you have a cabin way up in the, is it way out in the woods or something?
R - Yeah, it's like, in fact it's, fourteen miles away from the closest town, basically. And I fly my brothers up there and we bond. It's kind of a...
J - You bond?
R - Well, yeah, it's a kind of northern woods male bonding sort of thing. My dad comes up and we, uh, we do the guy things.
J - A Hungry Man dinner, is it that kind of thing?
R - Well...
J - "I'd like some more flapjacks, Little Billy"
R - Sort of, yeah. But we do stuff like work on the boat house...
J - Work on the boat house, yessiree, bob!
R - You got to get the dialect right. It's like "I'm home, snookums. What's for dinner? Asparagus, oh no."
J - That's right. Now there are no women on this thing? Just the men?
R - Well, occasionally, and eventually, my Dad's girlfriend comes up and blesses us with her cooking, thank..thank the Lord.
J - Well, that's very nice
R - But, um, but I discovered something about, I'm usually a little self-conscious about, and have been for years, I know this is..., about my body. You know, I look, like, tall and lean, but I've got (Audience whoops) Ah, thank you, another geography lesson, bu I've got these love handles that I've always been a little...
J - Love handles?
R - Yeah, like...like fat.
J - Let me see. Let me see.
R - You'll see 'em another time.
J - No, let me see them. Let me see. Let me see. Oh, what a fat pig! Oh man!
R - Yeah, but have you hugged Richard (Simmons) lately?
J - No. He won't let me hug him. He won't let me hug him. I tried to hug him, and he wouldn't let me hug him.
R - Well...
J - He has, like you, a fear of intimacy, apparently.
R - Well, that kind of intimacy, with Richard Simmons, I'm not looking for, okay? With all due respect.
J - Apparently, you didn't get a free pair of sneakers.
R - Obviously not.
J - Now what's with these love handles? It doesn't seem like any big deal.
R - Well, I just, it's always been kind of bothersome. I got skinny legs and I got, like, these little love handle things, and..but I'm looking at... my brothers and I'm sitting around, working on the dock or something, doing something very Minnesotan, you know, and I look around. We're all just wearing shorts, like in the water, and it's hot and muggy and I look around and I see.. And the first thing out of my mouth was "I don't feel so bad. It's hereditary."
J - The whole family has these?
R - We've all got them. It's like genetic, thank the Lord, so I'm feeling better about it now.
J - You should show the audience. You should get it over with now.
R - Um, next time.
J - I mean, a lot of people maybe not familiar with the term, show them what you're talking about, show them this horrible, disfiguring genetic thing you have.
R - I tell you what...
J - And the fact that you were able to over come it and go forward.
R - On national television. You know, I've got some other physical problems that...
J - Well, I know that.
R - That we may not want to delve into, but I'll come prepared next time.
J - Are you not going to...
R - I'll strip for you. You know, one time on the show I said "You should see me naked." You should have taken me up on it right then and there.
J - Um, yeah, I didn't really want to see you naked, but...
R - Well, what are you asking for now?
J - I just want to see the love handles. Show us...
R - You'll see them all in good time.
J - Oh, show us the love handles, go ahead.
R - Let me put on a little weight...
J - Come on, here you go, here you go, let's see what he's talking about.
R - There's one.
J - Let's see, can we get a...oh boy, look at that! Oh boy!
R - That thing is huge! Now let's see yours, Jay.
J - Imagine somebody...I don't have any.
R - Just take your choice, which one?
J - Imagine somebody tuning in now, just hearing the last thirty seconds "That thing is huge, show me yours." We'll be right
back with Richard Dean Anderson right after this!
(Commercial break)
J - Welcome back. Talking with Richard Dean Anderson. You know, uh, I found a great photo of you from the seventies.
R - From the seventies? Well, blessedly...
J - Does this look like the seventies? Can you show this on... There he is! Yeah! It's Yanni! Yanni is MacGyver!
R - Yeah, Linda Evans and I used to date a long time ago.
J - That looks great.
R - That's a scary...what's scary about it is that you have it.
J - Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I have every embarrassing thing, so it's fabulous. I'm like J. Edgar Hoover. We've go a huge file upstairs.
R - You're a frightening man.
J - Now let me ask you, you're up in the woods, your're bonding with the family, yeah, bonding?
R - Yah, sure, snookums.
J - Now were you a scout? Did you do all that? Coming from...
R - Yeah, Boy Scouts, was an interesting phase in my life. It went by quickly because it was...I essentially look at the Boy Scouts as, and please, it's a great organization, I have a lot of respect for them.
J - Yeah.
R - That said, my first experience with the Boy Scouts was essentially the first experience with the military for me. And, um, I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts.
J - You were kicked out of the Boy Scouts?
R - I was kicked out. It's not an easy thing to do.
J - Now, what'd you do? Did you stab another scout or something? What did you do exactly?
R - No.
J - Fight?
R - Jay...
J - Stealing? I don't know?
R - I farted at a meeting. It's an absolutely true story, I swear to you...
J - Now wait a minute...
R - Lake Owassa Grade School and were all sitting around...
J - Lake Owassa?
R - Yeah, and we're in the gym and it's got like hard linoleum floors...this is...a really class act, aren't I?
J - I see, and the hard linoleum floor then made it, yeah
R - Yeah, and you know, a long time... we'd had some bad beans or something like that and I didn't...It wasn't a matter of forcing it out, it came out, and it resonated and it...they...what about you?
J - Now wait a minute. I never heard of anyone...so they said "That's it! You're out of Scouts, young man!"?
R - Yeah, and you know what? I wish I had had the where-with-all, I don't know how old you are when you're in the Boy Scouts, going for your Tenderfoot, or second class, but I wish I'd had the where-with-all to say, you know, "That a natural physiological process of the body. Leave me alone." How about you?
J - So what happened, what happened? You did this, and then what? The scout master said what?
R - I was asked to leave. "We don't want boys like you in our troop," Yeah, yeah, what about you? You've been in the...You know, you're laughing a little too knowingly.
J - No, no it's just the idea of, you know, we don't want boys like you in the troop. Now it's just life of crime for you.
R - No one with gas in our troop.
J - And you were kicked out?
R - Yeah, gone.
J - And did the other guys tease you about this?
R - Well, I was distraught, I was really upset at the time, but in retrospect...(weird noise offstage) There you go. Bless you.
J - I didn't know if that was you or something over there now. I can never be in a close car with you again.
R - You'll know know when it's me, you'll know. This is a classy interview, isn't it?
J - Yeah.
R - What about you? You got any, like, Boy Scout...
J - I don't have any fart stories, I'm sorry.
R - A likely story. Boy Scout stuff?
J - Quickly, any girls? Any new women?
R - Yeah....
J - Are you seeing anyone now?
R - Uh, yes.
J - This has been going on...
R - I know.
J - Like in the twenty years that I've known you, can't... you used to settle down.
R - You know something, I should have...I was going to bring a stopwatch out and just click it off right to the point when you ask me about it. And you did well tonight! You waited until the last split second.
J - Well, I wanted to find out if you have...is there anyone? Are you seeing anyone now?
R - Um, yea...no...yea
J - You were seeing that ice skater for a while.
R - "That ice skater." She's won like two world champion...
J - You know what my mother said when I told her that? Because she always about you. She would say "Oh, how is that nice young man? Has he met anyone?" This is absolutely true. I haven't told you this. I tell her, "Well, Ma, he's seeing that Olympic skater now, I guess that looks pretty serious." and my mother said "Oh, Sonja Henie?" I said, "Katarina Witt, Ma!" "Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought it was Sonja Henie." We got to take a break? Alright, Richard Dean Anderson, you guys. Tomorrow night, CBS, Richard Dean Anderson.
(Commercial break)
J - Alrighty, TV Guide has called my next guest the "Venus de Malibu" of the Baywatch Babe Brigade. That was the title previously held for eleven years by Margaret Meade. She's also the cover girl of the newest issue of Playboy magazine, for the fifth time on the cover, please welcome Pamela Anderson. How are you?
P - I'm nervous.
J - Did you see Richard's disgusting love handles? Is that, um...
P - I saw that. You want to see mine?
J - Yeah, I'd love to see, yes.
R - Disgusting? I thought they were cute.
P - They're beautiful. You don't have any love handles.
R - Thanks.
J - Have you guys met before? Do you know each other?
P - Actually, yeah, we met at a few things.
R - Yeah, we were at the Dodgers stadium one time, I let her wear my Dodgers "Anderson" jacket.
P - Yeah, he let me wear his jacket.
J - Ah!
P - Actually, that's not the first time I've seen you though. I actually saw you, um, in Vancouver. Everyone was in love with
you because you were on MacGyver, and I was just moved to Vancouver, me and my girlfriends were following you around a
pharmacy.
R - (Sounds like ex? Maybe the name of the pharmacy? Anyone?) And you didn't say anything?
P - No, we were just saying "That's MacGyver! That's MacGyver!"
J - What was he buying in the pharmacy, do you know?
P - He was actually buying film for a camera.
J - Oh.
P - Or something. I don't know what you were buying but we were following you around.
R - Why didn't you...we'll talk.
J - Now, how long ago...how long ago was this. That must have been in '88 or '87 or something like that.
R - Yeah.
J - So that was a while ago, so you were probably in high school and you would be in jail.
P - We go way back.
J - So you're from Canada
P - Yeah.
J - So how did you here? Did you work in Canada? Did you?
(Cut to next part with Rick, [Thank you Kate!])
Jay discusses dream interpretation with Pamela.
J - How about Rick's dream. Rick, do you have a dream? Maybe she could interpret for you.
R - Well, none that we could...well, never mind.
P - We'll talk later.
R - This is psychology we're dealing with, not philosophy.
J - Ah.
R - You might want to get your questions straight, Jay.
J - Ah, well thank you. Thank you for setting me straight. Perhaps you have a question?
R - Goodnight!
(Cut)
Jay tells who is going to be on the show the next night.
J - Hey, you guys are hitting it off pretty good!
R - We're married now.
J - Hey, that's pretty good.
P - No, my boyfriend's in the green room. We were just talking.
J - Aw, that's too bad.
R - We'd save on monograms.
J - It looked like it was going good, chatting away.
The End
I hope this is okay; it's the first time I've done a transcript! Rick and Jay Leno talk over each other sometimes, so it makes it difficult to catch everything they are saying. If anyone has any corrections, I'd love to hear them.
I may transcribe some of the other interviews as I get time. Any requests?
Thanks so much for posting these, Kate! You're the best!
